Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I think I am morally bankrupt
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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