What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I still have a little drunk in my system
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
