ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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