# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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