you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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