LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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