I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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