i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
