Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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