some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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