I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We need a shit load of segways right now
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
