Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
COCAINE IS GR8
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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