i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
