you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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