so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Randomize
