Please, let me fuck your mom
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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