I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize