Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
