you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
