So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
