thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
