tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
