I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
