tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize