Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
