just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
