its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
