Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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