He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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