After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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