Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
