She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
