the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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