Hey man sorry I got all grabby
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
