Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
