Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
its not stalking. its research.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
