marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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