I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
