So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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