Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
