You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
