dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Randomize
