Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
