What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
