ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
