Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
