imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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