Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
