It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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