he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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