i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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