Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
