I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
