pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I need to calm my uterus...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
