I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
