I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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