I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
