Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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