she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
