Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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