Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
